take it easy, smoothskins
hello everynyan! lyn here with a kinda late rent/donations post update. first off, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who helped last month, thanks to all of you i was able to afford everything for the month and i’m incredibly grateful for that.
however i’m still reaaally broke and i need help again for this month too. i have a job interview this friday for a job that’ll hopefully be a lot better than the piece of shit one i have now, but the end of the month is coming up really fast and all that so i need like another 500 dollars before may 1st. that’s including rent stuff and my regular bills and i only have like 120 dollars in my account right now so any and all help would be VERY much appreciated.
elyse might be able to help me out a bit if i’m a bit short but i’d like to keep as much strain off of her as possible so if you could reblog this post and donate if you can that would be really great! my donation button is right on my blog’s main page. thank you~!!!!!
Lots of hate on that post and a ton of questions, so, one grand response.
Being trans/non-binary means many different things, and each thing holds significance to every trans person (used here to refer to non-binary people who are not trans, as well), and, these things also mean many things to cis people as a whole. Through the vehicle of bigotry and privilege, transness in the eyes of the vast majority of cis people, is a perversion and a caricature of their existence, and this view is taught to almost everyone from a young age.
This is not what I want cis people to choose. I’m not asking for a cis person to paint themself as the hurtful picture they think to be an accurate portrait of a trans person. This is not something anyone has ever asked for, nor will it ever be.
When I say that i want people to realize they can choose transness, I’m saying that i want people to ruminate on what being trans means to them on an individual level. I’m saying that they should think seriously and critically about gender and decide for themselves what it is to them and in what ways if any it is meaningful. Then, I want them to act on that information.
There’s a popular post by iambickilometer which describes being trans as “[reactionary]”. A reaction to dysphoria and social stresses et al which places one into a position where they are experiencing discomfort, with being trans as remedy to this discomfort. Largely my view on this has been shaped by said post. My own identity was shaped in reaction to information: information provided to me by dysphoria, by depression, by my responses to sexuality, by interactions with people both trans and cis. My reaction to this information was to choose to be trans; I made that choice. The point of my original post was that people who are not trans can and should acquire and analyze information, and then, they should react to this information in a way which is personally beneficial to their lives.
Transness is a possible reaction, and, it is a reaction one can choose to have. My making this choice was greatly influenced by a good friend telling me that it was okay for this to be my choice of reactions, and now I’m telling others the same thing she did me.
Moving on: there’s “concern” (here used with skepticism) about the scope of one’s choice in this manner, concern about what one “does” when they become [, and I do mean become] trans.
My answer, as I’m sure anyone could expect, is that they do whatever they need, want, and are able to do to increase their comfort, ranging from “literally nothing” to “medical transition and beyond”. One’s actions or lack thereof in no way invalidate one’s identity and anyone claiming such is, to put it mildly, absolutely and completely full of horse shit.
That last portion, however, brings up something that really needs to addressed beyond simple dismissal (the preferred method of handling it): truscum, self-identified or otherwise.
There is a pervasive idea, expressed with varying levels of maliciousness, that one need experience certain criteria (read: bodily/gender dysphoria) as a prerequisite before they can qualify as being trans. Largely this is used to delegitimize young people on this website when they decide to navigate this rather wide and complicated subject in a way which is comfortable for them, but has also more frequently been used to attempt to silence anyone not sharing this view.
This is rooted in a feeling of people being able to choose to be trans somehow invalidates the identities of people who feel they had no other option. It is the notion that others being able to choose what they could not choose is “unfair”.
Let me tell you something: You are absolutely fucking right.
It is unfair. It’s really fucking unfair and I can recognize why this makes you angry. This anger is born from jealousy. You’re jealous that someone was able to reach this point without having to have done or been through what you’ve been through. You’re allowed to feel this jealousy. As an emotional response it makes sense, up to a point. That point being when you act on envy and attempt to force people who mean you no harm, but rather wish to share in your life and experiences and who understand you and want for you to be understood, so long as you are not acting with such fervent malice.
Not everyone had to experience pain to get here. Not everyone had to cry for 6 months straight and almost poison themselves. Not everyone had to endure years of horrible relationships and suicide attempts and being always picked one because the other kids were able to see something in you that you couldn’t see in yourself. Not every single fucking person has had this massive internal experience be as harrowing and awful as you or I have had it.
It has not been that bad for everyone, and, as a collective entity in clique politics, you need to realize this as a damn fact of life and grow the fuck up. Not every trans person has or has had bodily dysphoria. Accept that and move on with your lives and stop trying to do the gender politics version of “you can’t sit at our lunch table if you don’t have x”. It’s selfish, immature, frequents into the territory of being outright cruel, and only serves to make you more alone than you were before.
i hate when ppl say “consumerism” as a euphemism for the problem when what they mean is “capitalism” like shhh its ok just say it. capitalism is the problem. u can say it
it’s not even euphemistic! it places the blame for capitalism on those of us who have to engage in it to survive, i.e. the victims of capitalism as a system of oppression, i.e. the working classes, rather than placing the blame on the people creating or at least benefiting from the problem, i.e. the capitalist class